I am currently putting the finishing touches on a design/PR firm for small business owners. While I get that portion of life situated, I wanted to offer some blog headers/banners and templates* for free. Feel free to download and use these anyway you like (except resell them).

Click here to see the designs

My mother used to introduce me as the “athletic one”. My eldest sister was “the pretty one”. My mother tried everything to make sure that people thought I was prettier. She forced me to wear traditionally girly clothes and did not like that I was so athletic. She wanted me to be a princess, but I just wanted to be me. She would tell me that because I was darker-skinned I needed to “soften my appearence. Within the Black non-Community, there is a serious color complex- the lighter you are the better- and even as a child I knew this. I was the darker skinned or three girls. I never heard that I was beautiful, but I was told, “You’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl” or “You would be so pretty if you weren’t so dark.” Those comments were enough to make me hate myself- and they did. Years later. I engaged in behavior that I thought would make me prettier- promiscuity and bulimia. Lying and hiding.

I do not like boxes- being put in one. Boxes hide the whole. They force people to only look at a small portion of a person, and that is damaging to the soul. I look at my daughter and want more for her. I want her to be herself with out fear. I don’t want her to be the Black girl (she is only half Black), or the biracial child. I don’t want her to be the short one, or the fatm one or even the smart one because those tags are so limiting.

What we tell our children is so important. We may not see the results right away, but words have a way of burrowing down deep inside and festering away at ones self-confidence. There are so many things in this world that can beat our children down, but parents should not be one of them.

What will you tell your children?

My husband had an opportunity to go to DC on a private jet, but unfortunately, things didn’t pan out. It bites because SWHS would have loved the plane and DC is such a great place for anyone who loves history and politics. At any rate,e I started thinking about family time and how much I really wanted to take road trips with my family.

We never took road trips when I was growing up. We never traveled accross the US and there is so much of this country that I have not seen. My mom loved traveling. She made sure we went to Detroit (where much of my family still lives), and Disney World, Atlantic City, Canada and DC. I went to DC, Pennsylvania and Virgina on school trips. But, I did not see the bright lights of the Vegas hotels until I was 25. My husband’s family was completely different. The drove EVERYWHERE. He has been to Florida, Nebraska, South Dakota, Colorado, Massachusetts, Vermont, Jersey, Connecticut, Virgina, DC, Pennsylvania, Ohio and more.

I want my daughter to see what this country has to offer. I want her to experience the slow pace of the life outside of NEW YORK. But more importantly, I want to spend time with my family.

I’m open to suggestions. Where should our first road trip be?

Originally posted at Minti.com

My daughter is 2 now and every day, while I am putting her to bed for the night, I thank the universe for schedules. I had my daughter in 2006 during my second year teaching in a very high needs school. I was going to graduate school at night and my husband worked the overnight shift. At times, life was very stressful. And while my daughter was a good sleeper from the start (meaning she slept like a normal baby) eventually, we realized that nothing good could last forever. Lo and behold, she began a 7:00 PM witching hour that seemed to last forever.

One night after crying hysterically because she would not sleep, I realized something: iif 7 PM was her witching hour, then she needed to be put to sleep before that. If we never made it to 7, then her witching hour would not exist. It sounded logical, but sometimes, logical is not always right. I put her to bed at 6:45 PM but at 7 she was up and screaming. What the heck is wrong?

Then it suddenly occurred to me that she needed to be in a DEEP sleep at 7. So the next night I put her to bed at 5:45 pm. I had a killer paper to write and she needed to sleep so that I could work. I went out into the living room and started my paper. I looked up at the clock and it was 6:58 PM. I held my breath think that this was the make or break point. At 7:00 PM she stirred a little, but she did not wake up. I stood outside her door for almost an hour and she did budge. I continued this routine for a week thinking that it was only a matter of time before the fit hit the shan. But it never did.

At two years old my daughter is a ball of energy. But even on the nights when we have to be out past her bed time, she falls asleep as soon as she can. If we are in the car or at some one’s house, she falls asleep. New moms often ask me how I get her to fall asleep every night at the same time and so early. My response is always the same: go with your gut.

You know your child better than any one and you know what you need. Many people will tell you not to use schedules. Some will say that it is the only way to get sanity. For me, that was true. I had to make sure that my daughter was in bed every night at the same time. She goes to bed between 5-6:30 every night and she sleeps all night. I am adamant that she is not up past her bed time because I know that we will both go crazy. Do what works for you and don;t be afraid to try something new if all else fails. But once you find what works for you, don’t fight it. Stick to and you will see that life gets easier.

I was browsing through YouTube as I often do when I have satisfied my daily fix of StumbleUpon when it suddenly occurred to me that I live my life as if it was a Broadway musical. I have a song for every moment of my life and for almost every person that I call “friend”. So, with the help of YouTube, I have compiled a list of six of my top friends (also known as people who have not pissed me off in the last 72 hours) and the songs that represent them. I have linked all of the titles which will take you to the corresponding YouTube video. I would love to see your list. Leave a comment and link back here.

ANDREW: “Your Song” by Elton John as performed by Heather Headley for the 2004 Kennedy Center Honors honoring Elton John because it is the truest form of love that I have every heard.”Pop Goes My Heart” and “Don’t Write Me Off Just Yet” from the Music & Lyrics soundtrack because, well, it’s self explanatory.

LORRI: “Patience” from the Dreamgirls soundtrack by Eddie Murphy et. al.,  “If I Ruled the Word” by Nas and “Tell the Truth” by Mos Def because you always me keep my socially conscious.

WILLIE: “Project Image” by Miles Long (Malcolm Jamal Warner’s band) because he let’s me know that it’s OK to redefine myself and expand my desires while staying in touch with my true nature.

MAISHA: “Got My Mojo Working” by Muddy Waters because you have skills and style that sends everyone into a frenzy.

THEMIS: “Ghetto Superstar” by Praz and Mya because she reminds me that sometimes being a bitch is all the power we have.

IZZY: “La Ve Boheme” from Rent because he reminds me that creativity must always evovle.