I always wanted a sister with whom I had a close relationship. Someone of whom I could never tire of talking to because our conversations always lead to deep reflection and soul-awakening. My real sisters and I never had that kind of relationship and I never found it in the few female friends that I had. That is until I met ‘The Brain” four years ago. Never before have I clicked so well with another woman. Never before I met someone who despite, much like myself, having grown up in a family that seemed to want nothing more than to destroy her spirit, survived and went on to be a strong, compassionate, and well-rounded individual.

When I first met her, I thought, “wow, what a WITCH with a capital ‘B’” because her presence was actually more demanding than my own. But lo and behold, we became friends. I learned very quickly that she and I were kindred spirits and together, we were a force to be reckoned with. She has talked me through some very tough times. She has been a true friend and I am grateful that I have met her.

Unfortunately, “The Brain” is leaving this country and moving to Ireland with her husband. They have to go- this country is not taking care of its own and so what other choice is there, right? But as much as I understand why she as to go, my heart breaks just a little more as each day brings us closer to her departure. We think about life in very much the same way. I know that when she is giving me advice, she is doing it out of love, respect, and honesty. I know that I will never find a friendship like that again. I am at a loss.

I have been trying very hard to be strong. I have been supportive and understanding, because as a friend, I know that she is doing what is best for her ad her husband. But I want to scream, “don’t go,” after all, when you have a friend like her, why would you want her to move? I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know how I will go to an already tedious job when the person who makes it worthwhile will be gone.

But it’s not about me. It’s about her. And this post is a way for me to get all of this out without adding more stress to her as she prepares to embark on this exciting voyage. We we have month left before she heads out and I wanted to be able to enjoy that time without carrying all of this around.

I’ll miss you, kid. Life will never be the same without you here, but thank you so much for teaching me about life and relationships and friendships. You have given me faith in world (despite our hours spent uncovering the conspiracy to turn us all into meatpuppets) and I love you for it my sister. Be strong and know that although you will be miles away, you will not be alone. You always have a friend and a sister here no matter how long you are gone.

Originally Written on March 21, 2008

We allowed a friend to stay with us while he looked for a job. That was eight weeks ago. He went to HS with my husband and despite the fact that they did not speak often, they grew up together and were very good friends. So when he contacted my husband through Facebook to tell us that he was moving back to the area, we were excited.

He moved back without a job though he supposedly had a one lined up. He was living with a friend, but after being out of work for several months, the friend asked him to leave so that his girlfriend could move in and help pay the bills. He called us. With no where to go and limited funds, I agreed to let him come living with us.

He did. And his generosity was unmatched. He allowed us to cook for him, to clean up after him, to provide him with a car and gas, and to buy food, 40s, and cigs. He allowed us to fall behind in our bills and to hope for promised money. And even made sure to leave us a tablespoon of Tanqueray that we had for over 1 year and White Zinfandel that I occasionally had to drink at night. He even finished off our vodka so that we would not get crazy and trashed one night.

We were blessed with eight weeks of his compassion. He passed up a job just so that he could spend more time with our family and he even made sure to be a negative influence on my daughter. He introduced inappropriate TV shows around our 22 month old and even left empty beer bottles around in an attempt to spark her curiosity.

Finally, we could not take anymore of his kindness; it was killing us. We were burnt out and longed for the boring, simple life that we had before his excitement. My husband asked him to leave. We give him a week and a half to make arrangements. He spent that time attempting to make us feel guilty.

Maybe I should have titled this post, “I’m Free” or something like that. Either way, my point is that after 8 weeks of being taken advantage of, we are free. And freedom, well, freedom only cost us approximately $2180. We learned a valuable lesson too.

We learned that there really are two kinds of people: givers and takers. The takers are vampires. They will suck you dry and then move on to others with no care for those they hurt. They are damaged- probably from birth.

After a friend suggested that I start a new blog, I decided that the best way to deal with these people is to help the givers out by sharing our stories.

I am alone. Except for her, and him, and her, and her. We are alone.

Up until 4 years ago, I was living in a false reality. I was under the assumption that human beings were generally good people. We helped each other out because we knew that deep down, it is the right thing to do. But this is not the case.

The reality is that human beings are takers. We are takers and we never give back. We “pave paradise and put up a parking lot” and then we plant a tree to give the illusion of giving back to the world.

This rant comes from a very dark place. It comes from a place of complete disgust. We are helping out a friend. He is living with us because, after moving from Atlanta to NY, he could not find a job and needed a place to live. He was living with another friend, but it did not pan out. And now I know why.

We have allowed him to live with us and he has decided that he was going to screw us over so completely that we actually had to miss a rent payment. I’m not going to go into details; it is not necessary. All that needs to be said is this- friendships are precious to me, but when someone screws me over once and then does it again, I am not too forgiving.

I am at a loss when I try to understand someone who is content with being a leech- a mooch- a loser. The Revenge of Intellect tells me that most good people keep to themselves and don’t ask for help. What sucks is that all the bad people are asking for help and the good people who respond are getting screwed?

I have been dropped into Oz. I’m wearing the ruby-red slippers and I am pouring water over these slimy bastards, one by one. And I am asking that all of you good people- the ones in hiding come out, come out, where ever you are. We need to regroup. There is strength in numbers and we can take back morality.

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Originally posted 3/18 on my now defunct blog, “Wag the Dog”.

Friendship is very important to me (although you wouldn’t know it as I don’t really speak to anyone from my pre-college years). But it is. I cherish the good laughs, the refreshing cries, the relieving gripe sessions with my friends. I am willing to help them out at all cost because that is what friends do. But how much is too much?

How do we draw the line between normal expectations and those that cross the line?

There is so much I want to say on the subject, but it can’t be said right now. I have to step back a little to ensure that I am seeing the whole picture. But I do know that when the smoke clears, lives will be forever changed and friendships will be put to the test.

I just don’t think it will turn out well.