That would be my daughter’s anterior fontanelle also know as the soft spot on the top of her head. It is still open at 19 months although it is smaller than it was at her 18 month appointment. I am VERY nervous because our Pedi is sending us to a Neurologist (this coming Tuesday) for a consultation to determine if we need to move ahead with a Cat Scan.

Needless to say, I am a FUCKING wreck. I have read everything that I could about potential causes of a anterior fontanelle not closing. There was a lot of information about water on the brain and brain surgery and such, and of course, I cannot wrap my head around all that.

When I look at my daughter I see a normal baby with a big head. But I have a pretty big noggin’ and so does my husband- so I know that her head is normal. The pedi also thinks that her head size is the cause of the slow-closing soft spot. But the problem is, there are many disorders that cause big heads in toddlers. So you see, there are just so many things that could be wrong with my angel.

She is developing on schedule. She is doing the things that normal 19 months olds do, and she does not have any of the visible symptoms associated with neurological  disorders.

Can you tell? I’m trying to talk myself out of worrying. But there is a voice in the back of my mind and a pit in the bottom of my stomach that is telling me something is not right.

And I’m scared.

I am so scared.